ANDREW: Oh, hello, there, gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? Adventure and heroics and discovery—don't they just take you away? Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call: Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyrs.
ANYA: For God's sakes, Andrew. You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
ANDREW: Entertaining and educating.
ANYA: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
ANDREW: But it's a valuable record. An important document for the ages. "A Slayer in action."
BUFFY: "A nerd in pain." Would they like that? 'Cause we could do that.
ANYA: Birds need to fly, and girls need to use the toilet, and why were you video taping yourself, anyway? Sounds like kinky business to me.
SPIKE: I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off before I rip your throat out and eat—
ANDREW: OK, Spike. The light was kind of behind you.
SPIKE: Oh, right. Uh, what? Is this better then?
ANDREW: We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.
WILLOW: You put your old murder weapon in with our utensils?
ANDREW: I washed it.
ANDREW: Check out Spike and the Principal. There's something going on there. Sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
ANDREW: But I just—I just want the world to see what you do.
BUFFY: What I do is too important to show the world.
ANDREW: Ooh, I like that.
ANDREW: So, this is my redemption at last? I buy back my bruised soul with the blood of my heart. But-but not enough to kill—
BUFFY: Stop! Stop telling stories. Life isn't a story.
BUFFY: Didn't want blood. It wanted tears.
ANDREW: Here's the thing. I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming, and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even think I'm going to live through it. That's, uh, probably the way it should be. I guess I'm—