Quotes
5.05 - No Place Like HomeGLORY :You know, when you think about it, I'm the victim here. First off, I don't even want to be here. And I'm not talking about this room or this city or this state or this planet. I'm talking about the whole mortal coil now, you know? It's disgusting! The food... the clothes... the people. I could crap a better existence than this. But... okay- and feel free to tell me if this next part gets a little too personal, because I'm told I have boundary issues- but I'm hurt! Yes, by your incredibly selfish behavior. Newsflash, hairdo: it's not always about you. All I want is the Key! Why? Why can't you tell me where the Key is? Oh! Forgive me... monky. Sometimes I just... I get so anxious- like there's something deep inside of me and it's swelling up and it's making me crazy!- that I forget there's all that duct tape on your face!
GLORY : I just noticed something. You have super powers. That is so cool. Can you fly?
5.06 - Family
GLORY: A slayer?? Oh god, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common! If I had friends, and they heard about this ...
5.08 - Shadow
GLORY: Ohh! Everything takes time! What about my time? Does anyone appreciate that I'm on a schedule here? Tick, tock, Dreg! Tick frickin' tock!
5.12 - Checkpoint
GLORY: Yeah! That's it exactly! Oh. Sweet lumpy minion. You're the only one that understands. Probably cause I haven't sucked your brain out yet.
GLORY: Buffy... If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already. So play nice, little girl.
GLORY: ...but to me, you're a bug. You should get down on your knees and worship me!
5.13 - Blodd Ties
GLORY: Never send a minion to do a god's work.
GLORY: Hey, nice sword. Bet it hurts.
GLORY: Okay. One more time. Just between me and you. Our itsy-bitsy little secret. Where ... is ... the key?
ORLANDO: Even if I knew, I'd die a thousand deaths before I'd tell you.
GLORY: Well, you won't need a thousand, sweetie. I'll make the first one last. Long time.
GLORY: What is it with you religious types? It's intimacy, isn't it?
GLORY: Oh! You're just scared of letting someone in! Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. I know how difficult the first time can be. You don't have to be afraid. Just relax. You may not have the info I want ... but you still got something I need.
GLORY: Ugh, cotton! Could a fabric be more annoyingly pedestrian? Now *this* is what I'm talkin' about. Makes your skin sing.
GLORY: Okay. Small talk over. I'm in a bit of a crunch here, so let's cut right to the ooey gooey center. Your sister, the Slayer, has my key. It's mine, I want it. Do you know where she squirreled it away? There's ice cream and puppydogs in it for you if you start singin'.
DAWN: I'm not sure. What does it look like?
GLORY: Well... the last time I caught a peep ... it was a bright green swirly shimmer. Really brought out the blue in my eyes. But then those sneaky little monks pulled an abracadabra, so now it could look like anything. You see the predicament I'm in.
GLORY: Very irritating. Irrational. Know what I mean, tiny snapdragon? Like... bugs under my skin. And say, I'm feelin' a little...
DAWN: What's wrong with you?
GLORY: Hey. Hey! This doesn't have to be a complete waste of my precious time. I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and Boom. You have yummy dead birds.
GLORY: Hey, those are really nice shoes.
5.15 - I Was Made To Love You
GLORY: A date with the Slayer? No. No. No, no, no. He is planning something, he's working against me. She turned us down?
5.17 - Forever
GLORY: Jinx, you robed stud, you're my man! I'm even gonna let you slide on the lame toadying on account of your dying and stuff.
GLORY: Uch, get him fixed, would ya? I wanna hear the whole story again, without all that annoying moaning.
5.18 - Intervention
GLORY: I'm a god in exile. Far from the hellfires of home and ... sharing my body with an enemy that stabs my boys in their fleshy little stomachs.
GLORY: Really? That's fantabulous! And impossible. He can't be the key, because, see, the key ... has to be pure. This is a vampire. Lesson number one, vampires equal impure.
GLORY: You can't even brain-suck a vampire. He's completely useless.
GLORY: Let's take a peek at you, precious.
GLORY: He doesn't look very fancy to me.
SPIKE: Hey, watch the lip!
GLORY: But if the Slayer protects him, maybe appearances are deceiving.
5.19 - Though Love
GLORY: We got this part right, that's for sure. Lot of sucky things in this dimension -- bubble baths? Not one of 'em. Know what I mean?
GLORY: So it's her. Under our noses all this time. I like the detail work those monks did. Quirks, foibles, passions ... it's all so cute, so ... human. You know?
GLORY: Think about it. You think your hand hurts? Imagine what you'd feel with my fingers wiggling in your brain. It doesn't kill you. What it does ... is make you feel like you're in a noisy little dark room ... naked and ashamed ... and there are things in the dark that need to hurt you because you're bad ... little pinching things that go in your ears ... and crawl on the inside of your skull. And you know ... that if the noise and the crawling would stop ... that you could remember how to get out.
GLORY: Fine. Let's get crazy.
GLORY: Did anybody order an apocalypse?
GLORY: Uhh. It's the lover. That's so cute.
GLORY: Is that it? Is that the best you can do? You think I care about all this, the apartment, the clothes? Now, sucking on your girlfriend's mind? That was something to treasure.
GLORY: Know what they used to do to witches, lover? Crucify 'em.
5.20 - Spiral
GLORY: Well, what do you know. Little Ben finally did something right.
GREGOR: The beast.
GLORY: Hey, it's Gregor.
She grabs a hubcap that's hanging nearby and throws it like a Frisbee. It flies into the general's chest. Everyone stares. Gregor falls forward against his bonds, dead.
GLORY: Now it's not.
5.21 - The Weight of the World
GLORY: Guys! I'm not gonna kill you. Not in the mood. What do you think that's about?
GRONX: In mercy does your power lie?
GLORY: No, brainless, in torture, death and chaos does my power lie. So tell me, why am I not popping your head like a zit right now?
GLORY: Uhh! Just a little tight in the skin is all. I've been waiting an eternity - well, 25 human years - and it all comes down to tonight.
GLORY: I'm just thinking, here I am trying to make you feel better, when comforting others ... not part of my life. And I'm doing it, so I can stop ... feeling so ... um ... Help me out.
DAWN: Guilty?
GLORY: Guilty. That's it! But I'm not supposed to feel guilty. I'm not supposed to feel anything. I'm, I'm ... I'm a god. I'm above it. I'm ...
GLORY: 'Cause tomorrow ... you bleed, little girl.
PRIEST: Th-this I cannot do. You risk terrible magicks in opening the portal. Nothing comes without a price. This ... is yours.
GLORY: Gods don't pay.
GLORY: I mean really. Is this what the poets go on about, this? Call me crazy, but as hard-core drugs go, human emotion is just useless! People are puppets! Everyone getting jerked around by what they're feelin'. Am I wrong? Really, I want to know.
GLORY: Funny. 'Cause I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of ... and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around. Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up ... shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. *I'm* crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind. 'Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.
GLORY: Okay, first thought, just totally spontaneous, unfiltered, off the top of my head ... ow!
GLORY: You know all those pesky feelings Ben's been having like guilt, empathy? I'm gonna take 'em and mash 'em back down where they belong, okay? Now ... let's have big-girl fun.
GLORY: Baby, baby, baby Ben. Why do you worry so much? When you're immortal, all this crap you've been carrying around inside ... the guilt, the anger, the crazy-making pain ... Ooh, it all just melts away like ice cream.
5.22 - The Gift
GLORY: She made a little ... she made a hole. Uh, I need a brain to eat.
MINION: Oh, take mine, oh groove-tastic one!
GLORY: I said a brain, you worthless dirt!
GLORY: I'm feeling a little better. And now? I'm a little bored.
GLORY: Hey, wow, the Slayer's a robot. Did everybody else know the Slayer was a robot?
GLORY: You're just a mortal. You couldn't understand my pain.